Self-Image & Self-Esteem

Posted by Harmony

I don't have a daughter but I know growing up as a daughter how important a mother's words and actions are in developing a healthy self-image and self-esteem. My mother is and always has been slimmer than I am and would ask me growing up "Do I look fat?" At the time, I would answer no and go on my way not giving it a second thought - I must be fat because I am bigger than mom. WRONG! Even now when I have some extra weight on from baby #2 - I have escaped this mentatlity. I don't entertain any conversations of the sort with my mother or my friends for that matter. I advocate being comfortable in your own skin and if you aren't do something about it! I know I have some weight to lose for me and my health and activity and healthy eating are the only ways I will make progress on this. But I also know - my body does not make me who I am.
This is why I love, love, love all of Dove's Campaigns for Real Beauty. And now, Dove is appealing to our next generation of women with their Dove Self-Esteem Fund. They are teaching all of us that we are all beautfiful and we need to think and believe we are too. Let's not let our daughters grow up thinking they are less than anyone.
Check out the Mother-Daughter decoder to see how your words might be interpreted by your daughter. Watch this short video advocating self-esteem in young girls (I keep playing the video over and over - great soundtrack to write this post to). And take this quiz from iVillage to to determine How Healthy Is Your Daughter's Body Image. I took the quiz from my own perspective - apparently I still have some work to do. With the downloadable materials you can purchase here, you can help your sons, daughters and yourself build self-esteem.
Love yourselves!

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[ READER COMMENTS ]

1

alicia said:

Amen to every bit of that. Luckily my mom's "Do I look fat?" questions never affected me; I was the one telling her everything you've just written, haha.

What did affect me was her self-esteen regarding herself as a person. It was great, as was my dad's, and I'm very lucky for that.

About a two years ago, I became very depressed and lost A LOT of weight. I went down to 111, which is not good for someone who is 5'6 and was previously fluctuating between 135-140. I temporarily moved and met people who only knew the 111 pound me - when my depressed starvation turned to depressed overeating and I very quickly climbed to 165-170. I was immediately labeled "fat" because the new people I was around saw me go from scary tiny to much bigger than scary tiny. Had my parents not instilled the tools to have a great self-esteem and self-confidence in me, and had I not been confident in myself as a person, I probably would have broken down.

Now that the weight is gone, I still feel like the same person.

Anyway, sorry for all the lengthy comments, this is the most engaging blog I'm subscribed to and I take advantage! :)

Posted at 11:56 AM, on March 29 2007

2

Harmony said:

Thanks for sharing Alicia, I too have ridden the weight roller coaster due to mental stresses.
My mom and I have a role reversal going on when it comes to self-esteem. I do my best to help her see what a great person she is and she doesn't have to apologize or compensate for who she is and how she feels.
Please keep the comments coming! I really enjoy reading your perspective.

Posted at 03:15 PM, on March 29 2007

Self-Image & Self-Esteem

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